What is Christianity to me?

Of late, I have been doing quite a bit of thinking on the way I am looking at (or defining) the concept of 'religion'.  This evolving understanding of the concept of 'religion' also led to the question "What is Christianity to me?".

Now, a religion can be looked at at multiple levels (that might not necessarily be mutually exclusive). For example, religion can be looked at as 

1. a set of rituals (e.g. baptism, holy communion etc. in the case of Christianity)
2. a set of beliefs (e.g. as captured in the Nicene creed in the case of Christianity)
3. a community that worships together (e.g. the congregation in a church in the case of Christianity) 
4. a set of core values (e.g. 'love' in the case of Christianity; remember, Jesus said 'God is love' and not just that 'God is loving')
5. a personal experience (i.e. the religious experience like that coming from a personal relationship/ongoing interaction with and 'trust' in the living Jesus in the case of Christianity)      

What I have found is that, over the years, my understanding of Christianity has shifted from being focused more on 1, 2 and 3 in the above list to being focused more on 4 and 5 in the above list. 

I am not saying that there is anything wrong with the first 3 levels. It is indeed possible to find a lot of comfort at those levels. However, it must be noted that exclusive focus on levels 1, 2 and 3 might (often inadvertently) pull people apart on the basis of religion. 

At the level of values, there is hardly any conflict between religions, and, indeed often they are complementary (e.g. 'love' and 'oneness' in the case of Christianity and Advaita Vendanta school of Hinduism respectively). Similarly, if we all look at religion as a highly personal and hence unique experience, we won't be tempted to argue on the relative validity of these experiences! 

To put it more broadly, if we look at the 'lower' levels in the above list in the context of the 'higher' levels, there is a very high possibility of integration, harmony and appreciation (see 'Celebrating Onam in the Church' for a specific example of this integration). It would also help in avoiding unfortunate situations like trying to communicate (or sell) the message of the religion without being (living) the message (or trying to communicate the gospel/'good news' without being good news to the others, in the case of Christianity).  

Any comments/thoughts? 

Of Covid and Religion

To me, this recent Covid related crisis has had a highly beneficial 'purifying' effect on organized religions and even on  many of the approaches to 'spirituality'. What has become abundantly clear is that no person (or organization) has any supernatural powers that enable them to 'get things done for you' based on their special connect with God. It also discredited the thinking that if one gives to these organizations, God will repay you multiple times. 

While this can be unsettling in some ways ('there is no way to force God to give you what you wanted), it also enables us to connect with God and do good things for the right reason. One should do good things (giving to the poor, helping others etc.) because that is the right thing to do and the reward is in the action itself (what it does to your spirit when you are able to extend yourself for others). Similarly, when you try to connect with God, it is to feel His presence and to be transformed by it (and not as some sort of 'fishing for God's favors' kind of action). 

This no way implies that worshiping in a group, rituals, visiting an religious place or being in the presence of a 'guru' is meaningless.  If these actions puts one in a better frame of mind (or in a better state of the soul), that helps one to tune into God's presence, these are highly beneficial. But, the essential interaction is between one and God. In the context of one's interaction with God, 'miracles' can happen. But, they are more of a case of  beneficial 'side effects' of the 'divine spark in one' getting rekindled because of re-connecting with God! Hence,  they are signs of grace, which by definition  is 'not earned' and hence can't be forced!

A mystery that should not be demystified!

'Demystification' is a very popular endeavor these days. It is indeed very useful in those areas where the 'mystery' is more of a 'pathological' lack of clarity.  However, there are mysteries that can't be demystified without losing the essence. 

To me, God is one of those mysteries (may be even 'the' mystery) that should not be demystified. Mystical experience of the divine lies at the core of spirituality. It is because God can only be experienced and not understood! Actually, an imperfect understanding would take away from the experience and all 'understanding' of an infinite being would necessarily be imperfect. Even when it comes to human beings, 'knowing about someone' can become an impediment for 'knowing someone'!

One of the most 'funny' things that you notice with many organized religions is that the religious leaders would say that God (or some concept about God like the Trinity in Christianity) is a mystery and then proceed to tell precisely what God (or the concept about God) is! 

Taking mystery (and mystical experience) out of religion because it is 'unmanageable' (from the organization sense), is one of the key reasons why religion is fast becoming irrelevant to a large section of the population. 

To me, the religion that has relevance is a highly personal one - based on personal experience of the divine and on the personal relationship with the divine. This personal experience is highly subjective and mystical. Yes, one can try to share one's personal experience of the divine with others. But, it should not be done in order to invalidate the experience of others! Instead, it should be done to share the sheer joy of such an experience and to highlight the 'possibility' of such experiences! 

"My Lord and my God!"

As you might have observed in many of the posts in this blog, I have a strong need, or, even a compulsion to 'understand'. Part of this comes from curiosity. Part of this probably comes from the idea  that understanding would allow me to predict, and, may be even to influence. My mind has a tendency to automatically do elaborate 'scenario planning' even when it is not required. While this did help me in my work in the field of management, it also created a lot of mental chatter that cluttered my mind.

One good thing that has happened to me because of the Covid crisis and the highly unpredictable situation coming out of that is that it sort of 'broke down' my compulsive scenario planning. While it did make me very uneasy initially, now I am more comfortable in the 'cloud of unknowing'.   

Something similar has also happened regarding my relationship with God. Earlier, I had created many mental models about my relationship with God, that (mercifully!) evolved as my understanding evolved. However, the mental models remained, and, they acted as some sort of lenses with which I viewed my relationship with God. Since no lens is perfect, they introduced their own distortion even though they gave me some (false) sense of understanding.  

In the last few months, this understanding, beliefs and mental models went through a process of 'stripping away'. Now, all that remains is a cry, "My Lord and my God", the same one uttered by the apostle Thomas during his encounter with the risen Christ (John 20:28 - And Thomas answered him, "My Lord and my God!").  

I don't know what this cry ("my Lord and my God!")  really means to me. But, it resonates with me very strongly. 'Strangely',  I am very comfortable with this 'not knowing'!!

I had really felt like this only once before. During one of the training programs that I had attended (that was run largely like a human process lab), there was an exercise in which we were given 30 minutes of time to do whatever we wanted, under the conditions that we can't make eye contact, speak to anyone, look at our phones etc. So, I walked around rather aimlessly, and then I sat down under a big tree. After some time, I became very intensely aware of my surroundings. Then, I had this great urge to pray. But, when I tried to do that, no words would come to my mind, however hard I tried. I started getting 'psyched up', as I had never experienced anything like that before. Then, suddenly, I felt that I am hearing the voice of Jesus telling me that "No words are required. Just say my name". Then I started saying the word 'Jesus' and in a very short time, I was so overwhelmed by a very intense feeling of peace and acceptance that tears started rolling down my cheeks. 

May be, this newfound comfort in 'not knowing' is what exactly I need to experience life as it is and as it comes. May be, not having fixed beliefs about God is the way to experience God. It is indeed such a blessing, that we can experience even when we don't really understand!  

Of matter, spirit and 'sins' of the father

The incident that triggered this post happened when my son was about 7 years old. At that time. he had become fascinated by 'black holes' , especially their immensely powerful gravitational pull, that won't let let anything (even light) escape if it gets too close. He was also a very religious kid.

One day,  he came to me and said that he is very concerned that 'God might fall into a black hole'! It was a very interesting statement. While most of the adults tend to separate ' the spiritual from the material', and hence won't make such statements, no such distinction exists in the mind of a child. So the challenge was to give him an answer which he can understand (within his worldview) and is also not 'wrong'.

So, I told  him the following. "Since God has created the universe, He knows where the black holes are and hence there is no danger of God accidentally falling into a black hole". When, my son was a bit older, I gave him a better answer. "The gravitational pull of  a black hole affects only material objects. Since God is not made of matter, black holes won't have any impact on Him'!

I remember this incident for many reasons. First, when it comes to fundamental questions, our answers should evolve as our understanding and our worldview evolves. Second, it reminds me of the interactions that I used to have with my father, when I was a child. I also, used to ask my father a lot of questions. He used to take a lot of care to give me answers that I can understand and are at least 'directionally correct'.

For example, if I ask him why I should not put anything into an power socket, he would say something like "there is fire inside the socket and you will get burned if you insert anything into it". This is a great answer to a child who is too young to understand electricity and electric shock but understands the damage fire can do. While other answers like "there is a demon inside the socket and it would catch you if you poke it' would have also kept me away from the power socket, it would have unnecessarily complicated my worldview and and might even have led to me not trusting his responses when I grow up. Similarly, if he had just dismissed my question as silly or asked me just to obey without asking questions, it would have made me feel rejected and/or rebellious. 

I am very grateful to my father for spending so much time with me, for patiently listening to all my (childish/child like) questions and ideas, and for giving me responses that enabled me to feel understood and affirmed, to explore more and to develop a balanced perspective. It is not only the 'sins' of the father, but also the 'good deeds of the father' that impacts the future generations!

The message and not just the messenger

As we have seen in 'Miracle', the greatest miracle of Jesus is himself (being fully man and fully God at the same time). Also, Jesus had 'skin in the game' (he suffered for us and still suffers with us ; the resurrected  Christ is the crucified Christ as he retained his wounds). To me, Jesus experiencing human experiences and emotions (suffering, joy, fear, frustration, love etc.) was (and is) essential for bringing about reconciliation between humans and God (by understanding gained through shared experiences). So, focusing just on the teachings of Jesus without focusing on Jesus himself is to miss the essential point! Similarly, practicing Christianity without a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is 'hollow'.  Jesus is the message and not just the messenger (remember, he is supposed to be the 'logos' - the Word of God - and not a prophet).

Avoidable distractions

It is said that the main purpose of understanding other religions/traditions is to gain new perspectives on one’s own religion. Of course, this works much better after one has understood one’s own tradition at some level of depth. To me, this has been the main benefit of reading Rumi. For example, one of the ideas about Jesus Christ that touched me very deeply (that the greatest miracle of Jesus is himself) was triggered by reading Rumi (see Miracle).

Recently, I came across the following words from Rumi (From the story ‘Moses Learns a Lesson’ from the book ‘Rumi: Tales to live by’). "I have bestowed on everyone a way of believing and worshipping according to his understanding and temperament. Praying and worship is a kindness I have bestowed on my creatures so they may be tied to me with chords of love. The Hindu worships me in his own way, and the Jew in his. Let them pray any way they know. Do not seek rules or methods of worship, but love me however you can!"

Considering that there are so many divisions in Christianity that often fight among themselves based on differences in rules and methods of worship, and thereby creating distractions that lead away from the core of Christianity, this is indeed a highly useful perspective!

The way

One of the verses in the Bible that I used to have difficulty in relating to is John 14:6, in which Jesus says “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”  Does it mean that being a Christian is a necessary condition for salvation?

While I have never had any serious intention of following any religion except Christianity, the ‘exclusivity that seemed to be implied by this statement made me uncomfortable as I have been brought up in an environment that respects other religions and also encourages learning from them (See Celebrating Onam in the Church). I have seen many very noble and pious people in other religions. Does this exclusivity mean that they are on the ‘wrong’ path? While I still haven’t fully resolved this (and maybe, I never will, thank God for that!), of late some ideas have started evolving in my mind.

The term ‘way’ means a path or a route. So, it becomes imperative to find out what is the way that is Jesus Christ. To me, 'the greatest miracle of Jesus is himself' (see Miracle) – the very act of being fully man and fully God. I think that God became human so that humans have a route to be one with God. So the life, love, rejection, acceptance, frustration, fellowship, loneliness, joy, sorrow, passion, death and resurrection of Jesus on earth is in a way a 'path-breaking' activity, establishing a new road, a new level of understanding and a new relationship between humans and God. 

The main goal of Christianity is to be more like Christ (being fully man and fully God at the same time) - by nurturing both our humanity and divinity. Maybe, it is that very act that enable to 'come to the Father'. 

I also think that ‘being in Christ’ is not necessarily the same as being a Christian (in the sense of being part of the Christian religion). Even the second council of Vatican said something like 'while salvation is through Christ, it is not limited only to Christians'. 

May be, it is an invitation to be more like Jesus (fully human and fully divine at the same time) and not meant to be an instruction to follow any particular belief system about Jesus Christ. As we have seen in 'From belief to experience and faith', a 'hand me down' belief system could be a big impediment to knowing Christ. For most of us (except those who have had a ‘direct experience’), the Christ we know is essentially the ‘Christ in the Bible’ (a picture that can capture only some aspects of Christ and that is also subject to the limitations of context, language and interpretation) and not the ‘real Christ’ or even the ‘historical Christ’!

Hence the highest understanding that I am capable of at this point on this matter is that by being fully man and fully God, Jesus has created the royal road to salvation for us! Now, I am not yet sure about all the different manners in which we can walk on this path though I have an inkling  that nurturing the both the humane and divine in us won't be a bad idea! Also, as Jesus himself said that 'God is love' that is probably the meeting point between the humane and the divine!

My God

To me, God becomes real to us in the context of our relationship with Him. Since all of us are unique human beings each of us would relate to (connect with) God differently based on our (God-given) uniqueness.


This creates a problem for those (interpretations of)  religions that prescribe a standard way of understanding God and relating to Him. So it becomes imperative to us to explore and go beyond these prescribed ways and arrive at our own personal understanding of God and our personal ways of connecting with him. No amount of secondhand understanding would help in forming a deep personal relationship.


Yes, worshipping in a group (which is also important and useful) requires common procedures and rituals. But how each of us experience the group worship and what each of us 'takes away' from the group worship can be (encouraged to be) shaped by our uniqueness. In a way, group worship can provide a spiritual atmosphere and mutual encouragement that can help us to further our unique understanding and relationship with God.


Thus, 'My God' is based on my personal understanding of (and personal relationship with) God. So in a way, 'My God' is mine only and the role of religion is to encourage all of us 'find' the 'My God' for each of us!

God who suffers with us

To me, the concept of the 'God who suffers with us' is as important as the concept of the 'God who suffered for us' (passion/crucifixion of the Christ). It is because of the former is in our current reality (it happens even now) and as it comforts us (we are not alone in our suffering). Also, it makes the act of lessening someone else's suffering a holy one as in that process we are also lessening God's suffering. Again, it (our act of lessening some else's suffering) enables that person to 'see the invisible hand of God' in our actions and hence strengthening his/her belief in (relationship with) God!


It can also be argued that one of the key reasons of the 'Word becoming flesh and dwelling among us' in the person of Jesus Christ (John 1:14) was to enable God to be more compassionate with the humans. After all, can one really be kind to someone else without being kin?

When science triggers spirituality...

This post is an attempt to bring together some of statements (most of them by scientists) that triggered a spiritual impulse in me. I guess there is something spiritual about any quest for truth - both scientific and religious. Also 'the wide-eyed sense of wonder' (typically associated with children or the child in adults) is probably the passport to both religious and scientific progress. Again our shared sense of 'beauty' can act us a guide in both religious and scientific pursuits.


The following are statements that somehow struck a spiritual chord in me. I don't want to over analyze them. So I am capturing them without comment. In some cases I have brought together statements made by a scientist in different occasions. So here we go....


1. Every formula which expresses a law of nature is a hymn of praise to God. Book of Nature is also a Book of God (Maria Mitchell)


2. Nature uses only the longest threads to weave her patterns, so each small piece of her fabric reveals the organization of the entire tapestry (Richard Feynman)


3. Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality. When we recognize our place in an immensity of light-years and in the passage of ages, when we grasp the intricacy, beauty, and subtlety of life, then that soaring feeling, that sense of elation and humility combined, is surely spiritual. The notion that science and spirituality are somehow mutually exclusive does a disservice to both." (Carl Sagan)


4. Everyone who is seriously involved in the pursuit of science becomes convinced that a spirit is manifest in the laws of the universe - a spirit vastly superior to that of man, and one in the face of which we with our modest powers must feel humble. In this way the pursuit of science leads to a religious feeling of a special sort, which is indeed quite different from the religiosity of someone more naïve. Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. I am enough of the artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.” (Albert Einstein)


5. It was not by accident that the greatest thinkers of all ages were deeply religious souls (Max Plank)


6. For most scientists, I think the justification of their work is to be found in the pure joy of its creativeness; the spirit which moves them is closely akin to the imaginative vision which inspires an artist (James B Conant)


 7. I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me (Isaac Newton)


8. It is strange that only extraordinary men make the discoveries, which later appear so easy and simple (Georg C. Lichtenberg)


9. The saddest aspect of life right now is that gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom (Isaac Asimov)


10. Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less (Marie Curie)


11. You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him discover it in himself (Galileo)

Miracles and God

'Can we expect God to perform miracles?' This is a question that has bothered me for quite a while. It is very comforting to believe that when we are in need (or when we want something) we can pray to God to do a miracle to help us out. The problem is just that God seems to 'act' in 'strange' (difficult to understand) ways. Sometimes things work out the way we want them to be and sometimes they don't and whether this can be attributed to God doesn't seem to be clear. So the question remains!


I have had many 'answers' (hypotheses) on this matter. Mercifully, the none of the answers have persisted for a very long time. I have learned quite a bit about myself and my relationship with God by watching how my answers have evolved over time. So what follows is just 'my current thinking on the matter' (what a beautiful 'consultant-like' phrase!)


First, our understanding of what is 'natural' and what is 'super-natural' has evolved significantly. As we understand nature more, we become more aware of the 'miraculous' nature of nature. So 'miracles' might not as unusual as we might think they are. Also, to me, trying to understand the creator by understanding the (patterns in the) creation definitely qualifies as a spiritual pursuit.


Yes, God is not a genie (that will do our bidding) or even some sort of s cosmic vending machine (that can give us what we want if we 'pay' a specified 'price'- like a particular prayer or a ritual or an action). It would be an insult to both God and us to think of God as an entity that can be compelled to respond in a particular way.


So what is my 'current thinking on the matter'? I think that the most important thing about God is that He is always with us. When 'miracles' do happen I prefer to think of them as a message from God that he is very much around and that the overall tendency of the universe is towards life. I think of miracles as gratis - something that happens without we causing it or earning it. Yes, we can definitely make ourselves open to grace and to miracles (or at least stop resisting them). So, to me miracles just happen without we doing anything - essentially to encourage us to look beyond the mundane aspects of life - to be more aware of the miraculous nature of the world that we are living in -  to recapture our wide-eyed sense of wonder and childlike zest for life - to be more enthusiastic (en theos : with God) - to be aware of the presence of God in our midst!