A believer without beliefs?

"Aren't you a believer?", my friend asked while we were having a conversation about my perspectives on Christianity. "It depends on whether one can be a believer without beliefs!", I replied. 

As I have become older, I have realized that I no longer believe in many of the beliefs that are traditionally associated with Christianity. More importantly, I feel that beliefs are not so important and that some of the beliefs can be limiting or a hindrance in one's spiritual journey. Sometimes, 'knowing about someone' can be an impediment in 'truly knowing someone ' and any sort of belief can limit one's experience of God.

To me, the essence of Christianity ('Christian faith') is faith in Jesus Christ. Here, it is most appropriate to use the word 'faith' in its original meaning of 'trust' (from Latin 'fides', meaning trust or confidence in a person) and that implies an ongoing relationship with and living in the presence of Jesus. As long as we don't view Christianity essentially as 'a particular set of beliefs' or as 'a closed community', it might indeed be possible to be a Christian without subscribing to all the beliefs that are traditionally associated with Christianity. 

Yes, it is almost impossible to function without some sort of a worldview and beliefs do get embedded in that worldview. So, I am not claiming that one can function or pursue the spiritual journey with some sort of 'latent theories' or 'convictions' (beliefs?). I guess, the key point here is if one is open to those theories' or convictions or  beliefs evolving as one goes along. 

In my case, I do 'know' that Jesus is 'my' God. I have experienced Christ fleetingly though intensely. But I can't  make any generalization based on those experiences on 'how Christ really operates'. Yes, there are parts of the Christian belief system that resonates with me - 'Christ being fully man and fully God at the same time', for example. I do think the goal of Christianity is to be 'more like Christ. Of course, I don't fully understand what that means and (mercifully!) my understanding keeps evolving. Maybe, it just means that God can only be experienced and not understood!

Of the Universal, the Particular and Oneness

What is oneness? Does the oneness of the universal and the particular negate the existence of the particular? When a river flows into the ocean, does it cease to exist?

I have been thinking about these questions quite a bit in the last few weeks. These thoughts got triggered primarily from three sources. The first was an exploration of the 'dvaita', 'advaita' and 'vishitadvaita' schools of thought. The second was the Gospel of John in the Bible, especially John 14: 20 ("On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you"). The third was Hegelian Metaphysics that talks about the synthesis of the thesis and the antithesis. 

So, what is my 'final conclusion'? Thank God, I no longer have any compulsion to arrive at any such 'final conclusion'. I have come to realize that, especially in matters like this, it is much better to let my questions and answers evolve (and to observe how and why they evolve in a particular manner). I guess, my recent explorations on the 'Philosophy of Science' also helped a lot. The nature of 'truth' in science is always tentative - based on the available data at a particular point of time - and it get revised (if required) as more data becomes available.

So, let me just share my 'current thinking on this matter': 

To me, the particular (e.g. the individual) and the universal ('God') are integrated - in the sense of being of the same essence (same nature) - though this does not totally negate their separate existence. The particular is the universal without ceasing to be particular. 

There are two types of oneness, oneness among the particular entities and oneness between the particular and the universal. Individuality (and diversity) at the level of the particular is indeed possible, while maintaining the essential unity (like 'each apple from the same apple tree can be slightly different - while very much remaining as an apple - and as the fruit of the same apple tree'). We must remember that the 'synthesis' of 'oneness and otherness' is much more than a simple 'negation' (as it also includes the element of 'preservation').

'Inseparable' doesn't necessarily mean 'indistinguishable'. 'Togetherness' (thou art with me) can also be a form of oneness. "I am in you and you are in me", doesn't necessarily mean the 'you' and the 'I' are totally indistinguishable. Yes, they are deeply integrated, and, to me, Jesus is a perfect example of this integration (of 'being fully human and fully divine at the same time'). I also feel that the main purpose of Christianity is to be more like Jesus Christ (to enable us to develop our human nature and our divine nature at the same time and to integrate them)! 

This also brings to mind an interesting fact about the famous 'Sabarimala Temple' in my home state Kerala - that the deity and the devotees (pilgrims) are called by the same name ('Ayyappa'). One needs to observe 41 days of 'vratham'(severe austerity measures) before undertaking the pilgrimage. Also, the traditional route to the temple was through a dense forest where one had good chance of being attacked by wild animals. So, when the devotee reaches the temple after observing the 'vratham' and after the dangerous and difficult journey through the forest (keeping one's mind focused on the deity all the while), the devotee 'becomes one with the deity'. This is also amplified by the words 'tat tvam asi' ('thou art that'), written on the temple indicating that the devote has become (one with) what the devotee was seeking!

Yes, I do feel that 'oneness' is the cornerstone of religious experience!

Any comments?

Of rituals, culture and spirituality

This post was triggered by a discussion based on an article that spoke about the decreasing importance given by the young generation to rituals and how that could impact our culture and spirituality.

My immediate response was that rituals becomes more meaningful when we know the meaning behind the rituals. We tend to be not so enthusiastic about those rituals that we feel are 'empty'(of meaning).

Sense-making is a function of place and time, and, it happens within the prevailing worldview, culture and the intellectual atmosphere. In the case of some rituals, original meaning/intent just has to be explained to make the rituals meaningful to a new group of people (e.g. the young generation). In the case of some other rituals, a significant reinterpretation is required. In a modern society, with more choice and awareness at the individual level (as compared to earlier times), expecting everyone to follow the rituals without evaluating them is a bit unrealistic.

 Yes, in the case of many of the rituals, the meaning is not in the rituals itself, but it is in the state of mind and the connect (to oneself, others and to the divine) that the ritual (if performed 'properly') helps to attain!

 Let me try to illustrate this with two examples, the first from Christianity and the next from Hinduism:  

During the holy communion,  when the bread and wine are blessed, they 'become' (in the subjective reality of the communicant) the body and blood of Christ. Now, this transformation in the subjective reality can't take place without tuning fully into the ritual by means of prayers, singing etc. 

Let me also add a personal perspective here. When it comes to the meaning of holy communion, some sort of 'U-Curve-like' phenomenon happened in my case. At first, I didn't think too much about the meaning and implications of holy communion, beyond taking it a way to remember Jesus. Later, I did a lot of thinking about the meaning of holy communion and and I became a bit uncomfortable, as I interpreted it to be some sort of 'ritualistic cannibalism' - till I realized that in many ancient societies, the main motive behind ritualistic cannibalism was not shortage of meat - it was to get the powers of the person who passed away. 

In the case of holy communion, this is explicitly affirmed in the prayers that prepares one for holy communion. For example, "so that you can be in us and we can be in you" in the prayer of humble access. To me, the main objective of Christianity is to become more like Jesus Christ - fully human and fully divine  at the same time (please see 'Miracle' for more details) and to become one with Him. From that perspective, the ritual of holy communion, if done properly with understanding, can be a great enabler! We can also say that the ritual of holy communion becomes meaningful, only in the context of the religious/spiritual experience that allows one to feel the oneness with Christ.   

Now, let's come to the second example. I grew up in Kerala. In many of the temples in Kerala, there is the ritual of 'pradakshinam', that involves circumambulating the (sanctum sanctorum of the) temple. These days, you will see many people running around the temple at 'breakneck speed' which takes away meaning of the ritual. The original idea was that you should do the 'pradakshinam' with your mind focused on the deity- and your speed of walking should be only as much as that of a nine-months pregnant woman who is walking with a jar of full of oil balanced on her head (without spilling it, of course). So, if it is done properly, this ritual definitely becomes a great mindfulness exercise and a great way to focus on the divine. Yes, if one just runs around the temple at 'breakneck speed', just to observe the form of the ritual (without bothering about the spirit behind it), the ritual becomes meaningless indeed! 

Where does this leave us? Rituals are useful when they are done properly and with adequate understanding of  (and resonance with) their intent (underlying meaning/purpose) Yes, we should not 'de-ritualize' our society. Rituals can bring in a 'sense of the sacred' and that of profoundness to our lives. They can also help in facilitating psychological transitions (see 'accelerated learning and rites of passage') and in attaining altered states of awareness/higher levels of consciousness. Rituals can also encode, amplify and reinforce cultural elements. Yes, 'de-ritualization is a move towards 'de-spiritualization' and hence towards alienation'!

Any comments?

What is Christianity to me?

Of late, I have been doing quite a bit of thinking on the way I am looking at (or defining) the concept of 'religion'.  This evolving understanding of the concept of 'religion' also led to the question "What is Christianity to me?".

Now, a religion can be looked at at multiple levels (that might not necessarily be mutually exclusive). For example, religion can be looked at as 

1. a set of rituals (e.g. baptism, holy communion etc. in the case of Christianity)
2. a set of beliefs (e.g. as captured in the Nicene creed in the case of Christianity)
3. a community that worships together (e.g. the congregation in a church in the case of Christianity) 
4. a set of core values (e.g. 'love' in the case of Christianity; remember, Jesus said 'God is love' and not just that 'God is loving')
5. a personal experience (i.e. the religious experience like that coming from a personal relationship/ongoing interaction with and 'trust' in the living Jesus in the case of Christianity)      

What I have found is that, over the years, my understanding of Christianity has shifted from being focused more on 1, 2 and 3 in the above list to being focused more on 4 and 5 in the above list. 

I am not saying that there is anything wrong with the first 3 levels. It is indeed possible to find a lot of comfort at those levels. However, it must be noted that exclusive focus on levels 1, 2 and 3 might (often inadvertently) pull people apart on the basis of religion. 

At the level of values, there is hardly any conflict between religions, and, indeed often they are complementary (e.g. 'love' and 'oneness' in the case of Christianity and Advaita Vendanta school of Hinduism respectively). Similarly, if we all look at religion as a highly personal and hence unique experience, we won't be tempted to argue on the relative validity of these experiences! 

To put it more broadly, if we look at the 'lower' levels in the above list in the context of the 'higher' levels, there is a very high possibility of integration, harmony and appreciation (see 'Celebrating Onam in the Church' for a specific example of this integration). It would also help in avoiding unfortunate situations like trying to communicate (or sell) the message of the religion without being (living) the message (or trying to communicate the gospel/'good news' without being good news to the others, in the case of Christianity).  

Any comments/thoughts? 

A conversation (Part 3)

Me: Where do you disappear when I need you the most?
Jesus: I am very much around
Me: It doesn't feel like that. Then what is the use?
Jesus: My main purpose is not utilitarian
Me: Then what are you doing?
Jesus: I help you to connect the dots even when I don't get involved with individual dots
Me: But I do sense your presence especially when things come together beautifully. I even see a personal touch to make me feel special. Sometimes when I have called out to you from the depth of your suffering you have answered me.
Jesus: May be you should treat it just as a proof of concept! (smiles)
Me: But other times when I am suffering and call out to you, I don't get a response. At least I don't get any response that I meets my need. So it becomes a 'torture by hope'.
Jesus: I hope you will sense my presence in both good times and bad times!
Me: I often feel abandoned, let down and very lonely
Jesus: This is part of being human. I can only say that I am with you even when you can't experience me. How can the omnipresent God be absent?
Me: May be you should make your presence felt
Jesus: Then you will only be interested in the miracles and not in the truth  underlying the miracles. It is like people thinking more about Santa Claus than about me during Christmas!
Me: So what should I do?
Jesus: It is for you to figure it out!  You have an entire lifetime for figuring it out for yourself!
Me: What about what others have already figured out?
Jesus: That is their truth. Walk with me and I will help you to figure out for yourself and do give me the benefit of doubt!
Me: Let me give it a try!

Questionable Assumptions?!

The last two posts ( ദൈവത്തിനു ചൂണ്ട ഇടുന്നു & ജീവിത ശകടം പംക്ച്ചര്‍ ആയി) that I had written, talk about communion with God (thinking about God, praying etc.). This raises an important question, ‘why should we have this communion with God’? Would God punish us if we don’t do this? Should we feel guilty if we don’t think about God?

These questions made me think about the assumptions that underlie the last two posts. The main assumptions were regarding the nature and purpose of the relationship between man and God.

In Christianity, the relationship between ‘God and man’ is considered to be that between ‘Father and child’ & I had assumed the same when it comes to the nature of the relationship. In such a scenario, communion (thinking about/interacting with each other) is a must for making the relationship work. It also follows that both God and man will ‘miss something’ if the communion does not happen.

No; I don’t think that God will punish us if we don’t think about(interact with) Him. But I do feel that we will miss out on a wonderful opportunity if we don’t do it. We discover certain dimensions of ourselves only in the context of interactions with others. So if we don’t interact with God, we might not be able to realize our full human potential.

To me, what happens when we interact with God is that we 're-member'. Remember (re-member) in the sense of being a member again (being united again with the 'Whole'). After this 're-membering' we re-emerge as renewed (refreshed, 'born again'/'born from above'*) human beings with a greater degree of awareness. This higher awareness will help us in making better choices - in dealing with ourselves and with others. It is not a matter of God telling us not to do certain things when we interact with Him. It is more a matter of we making different decisions (start, stop, continue, do more of, do less of) ourselves, based on our enhanced awareness.

Again, I don't think that God punishes us. I think that our actions, laws of nature and chance (entropy) combine to produce certain outcomes. I do believe that God nurtures us and gives us the strength do deal with the outcomes by 'being with us', suffering with us and suffering for us (as in the passion/suffering of Christ). God also gives us the wisdom to make better choices. This happens in the context of our interaction with God.

Hence it ‘makes sense’ for us to feel guilty if we miss out on this opportunity (to reach out to God). The feeling of guilt (like the feelings of anxiety, fear etc.) can be a useful warning signal. As long as we recognize the signal, we don’t really have to suffer the pain of guilt.

I understand that different sets of assumptions (on the nature and purpose of the relationship between man and God) are possible and they will lead to different conclusions (if we follow the same process of logical deduction). As I had written earlier, any sort of beliefs/assumptions about God is problematic (as they will limit God). I am also aware that many of these assumptions/beliefs are ‘anthropomorphic’ (attributing human characteristics to God) and can even amount to ‘creating God in the image of man’ – not a particularly noble endeavor I must say!

ബോബി ജോസ് കട്ടികാട്‌ ഹൃദയവയല്‍ എന്ന പുസ്തകത്തില്‍ പറയുന്നു " ദൈവം നമ്മുടെ ശാഠൃങ്ങല്കും  ധാരണകല്കും മുകളിലെവിടെയോ ആണ്. ഇതാണ് ദൈവം എന്ന് പറയരുത്. ഇതല്ല ദൈവം എന്ന് പറയുക കുറേകൂടി എളുപ്പമാണ്.  അതുകൊണ്ടാണല്ലോ എന്താണ് ദൈവം എന്ന് ചോദിക്കുമ്പോള്‍ 'നേതി - നേതി' (ഇതല്ല - ഇതല്ല ദൈവം) എന്ന് ആര്‍ഷഭാരതം ചൊല്ലിക്കൊടുക്കുനത്.  പരമാവധി നിനക്ക് പറയാവുന്നത് ' ഇതുകൂടിയാണ് ദൈവം' എന്നുമാത്രം. അതിനപ്പുറമായ ശാഠൃങ്ങള്‍  ദൈവനിന്ദകള്‍ ആണ്.” 

The above discussion clearly indicates that my current responses to the questions at the beginning of this post are far from adequate. I hope and pray that my understanding (and my answers/responses) will evolve!

* "Jesus replied, 'Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God without being born again'" (John 3:3). Please note that the Greek for 'again' also means 'from above'.

Samayamam radhathil (On the chariot of time)

If one tries to find out which is the Christian song in Malayalam that the maximum number of people know, the answer is likely to be 'Samayamam radhathil njan swarga yathra cheyyunnu' (I am traveling towards haven on the chariot of time). However, one is also likely to find that people sing it very rarely and that most people are rather uncomfortable with this song.

'Samayamam radhathil' is an absolutely beautiful song that was written by the missionary Volbrecht Nagel. It is so amazing, and probably a case of divine inspiration, that a foreigner could write such a beautiful song in Malayalam. Much later, this song was used  (with minor modifications)  in the movie Aranazhikaneram and that added to the popularity of the song.

But, people are still a bit wary of  this song as, this song is sung during all funerals. Thus, people associate this song with death, a very uncomfortable subject indeed for most people!

However, if we can live with our discomfort for a moment and look at the song more carefully, we will find that this song is more about life  and life after life than it is about death.

Our journey towards haven begins much before we die. Actually, the key part (and possibly the part that we can influence the most) of the journey takes place while we are alive. So, this song is equally about our walk with God while we are very much alive. This is so beautifully expressed in lines like 'bharangal koodunnathinu onnum venda yatrayil' (my journey doesn't need anything that encumbers me) and 'raathriyil njan daivathinte kaikalil urangunnu' (in the night, I sleep peacefully in the arms of God).

Yes, the song does talk about the 'end of our journey' (death) and about the 'life after life'. To me, this is essential to enable us to look at our lives differently and to live life more confidently, without being too overwhelmed by the fear of death.

When this song talks about death, 'aake alpa neram maathram ente yaathra theeruvaan' (it is just a little while for my journey to end), it makes us more aware of the limited time we have in this world, and hence exhorts us to live our life more intentionally and fully.

Hence, the next time we come across (or, seek out!) this song, let's listen to it/read it/experience it  with an open mind, so that we would be inspired and transformed by it, enabling us to be more effective and joyful in our walk with God!

What shapes my perspective?

The introduction to this blog talks about exploring and celebrating life from my unique perspective. So what is this unique perspective? Answers to this question can be attempted at many levels - from very material ones to very mystical ones. To put it in another way, it can range from those from the point of view of my self to those from the point of view of my Self - 'self' meaning my 'personality' and 'Self' meaning my 'ultimate Self'. This post is essentially at the level of 'personality'. It is also the level of my biases, prejudices and assumptions. I feel that exploring the factors that that have shaped my perspective is an essential part of exploring and celebrating life. This series of posts strives for a deeper understanding and appreciation of these factors.

I feel that one of the key factors that influences my perspective is my double heritage - that of being a Christian and an Indian (a Syrian Christian from central Kerala to be precise). I am not sure about the extent to which this has influenced/biased my perspective. After all, exploring oneself is a tricky venture.

If we examine Christianity in Kerala, it has some very interesting dimensions. Syrian Christians in Kerala claim 2000 years of Christian heritage - dating back to the arrival of St.Thomas in India. Now this 2000 years of coexistence has influenced both Kerala and Christianity. The impact of Christianity in Kerala is quite apparent - especially in fields like education. For example the word for school in Malayam is 'pallikootam'. 'Palli' means a church building and hence pallikootam literally means an annexe/extension/wing of the church.

What is not so obvious is the influence of the Kerala culture on Christianity. While this influence might not be obvious, I feel that the influence runs quite deep. For example, though Christianity reached Kerala 2000 years ago, only about 20% of the population in Kerala is Christian. I feel that one of the key factors that has influenced this is the basic Hindu philosophy of 'universal acceptance'. It was this cultural context/background that welcomed Christianity in Kerala. Thus culturally speaking, the Christian 'way of life' was assimilated into the mainstream of Hindu 'way of life' to a large extent and this made the need of having to forge a very distinct cultural identity less pressing. While a somewhat distinct cultural identity evolved over the centuries, the identity was not radically different in most dimensions. Again, as mentioned earlier, this Christian way of life also influenced the mainstream Hindu way of life - making the cultural distinctions even less pronounced. For example Christmas is celebrated across Kerala and 'Christmas stars' would be found in many non-christian homes also. Similarly Christians also celebrate 'Onam'. While Onam is a harvest festival, the mythology that underlies Onam is a distinctly Hindu one (that of Mahabali and Vamana). But this has not in any way affected the enthusiasm with which Keralite Christians participate in Onam celebrations. It is interesting to note that Keralire Christians are quite open to study/learn (and also open to let their kids study/learn) the religious texts/ philosophies of other religions. In Kerala, knowledge is given high importance/status. Most of the Keralite Christians view the religious texts/ philosophies of other religions essentially as knowledge - and hence worth studying/ learning ! I feel that knowledge of other religions would enable us to understand our own religion better.

Another relevant factor here is the 'bed-time stories' told to young children in Christian households in Kerala. They hear stories based on Hindu mythology in addition to the stories from the Bible. I feel that this leads to greater understanding, appreciation and respect for the Hindu way of life. May be, more religious harmony gets created through these stories than through the formal initiatives of the religious leaders!