Of wisdom and grace

 How does one acquire wisdom? It has been said that "you can be knowledgeable with another person's knowledge, but you can't be wise with another person's wisdom". So, where does this elusive wisdom come from?

To me, wisdom comes mainly from the 'little epiphanies' or 'Aha! moments' when life makes a deep impression on us. Since, it is not just a matter of will, I think it involves some degree of divine grace. Yes, one definitely needs to make the effort to be open to grace or at least not to resist it! 

In a way, the process of acquiring wisdom is not unlike the process by which pearls get formed in an oyster - when it gets hurt or when something irritates its skin. 

Any comments?

     

A mystery that should not be demystified!

'Demystification' is a very popular endeavor these days. It is indeed very useful in those areas where the 'mystery' is more of a 'pathological' lack of clarity.  However, there are mysteries that can't be demystified without losing the essence. 

To me, God is one of those mysteries (may be even 'the' mystery) that should not be demystified. Mystical experience of the divine lies at the core of spirituality. It is because God can only be experienced and not understood! Actually, an imperfect understanding would take away from the experience and all 'understanding' of an infinite being would necessarily be imperfect. Even when it comes to human beings, 'knowing about someone' can become an impediment for 'knowing someone'!

One of the most 'funny' things that you notice with many organized religions is that the religious leaders would say that God (or some concept about God like the Trinity in Christianity) is a mystery and then proceed to tell precisely what God (or the concept about God) is! 

Taking mystery (and mystical experience) out of religion because it is 'unmanageable' (from the organization sense), is one of the key reasons why religion is fast becoming irrelevant to a large section of the population. 

To me, the religion that has relevance is a highly personal one - based on personal experience of the divine and on the personal relationship with the divine. This personal experience is highly subjective and mystical. Yes, one can try to share one's personal experience of the divine with others. But, it should not be done in order to invalidate the experience of others! Instead, it should be done to share the sheer joy of such an experience and to highlight the 'possibility' of such experiences! 

Creative destruction: Fullness in vacuum!

I have been searching for some sort of‘equilibrium’ in my relationship with God. But as soon as I think I have reached a ‘workable equilibrium’ it promptly gets destroyed. This pattern has been repeating over and over again in the last few years of my life. This has left me quite unsettled and puzzled.

“What is the meaning of all this?” I have often asked myself. Isn’t it reasonable to wish for some sort of stability and predictability in one’s relationship with God – especially when one is trying to anchor one’s entire life around that relationship? Won’t this kind of a pattern destroy a person’s self confidence, self respect and even his belief in God?

While I haven’t yet found any ‘logical’ answers to the above questions, the following is ‘my current thinking on this matter’! May be, my definition of equilibrium is a bit too ‘static’. May be, my compulsion to reach equilibrium (even a ‘dynamic equilibrium’) is coming from a hidden desire for predicting and even influencing God’s actions (which is a dubious endeavor - as I have discussed here and here).

May be, all my beliefs about God (including the belief that such beliefs can work!) have to be destroyed before true understanding of God can emerge. May be, once the mental chatter/clutter from all these beliefs and hopes is cleared, knowledge of God would emerge from that silence! May be, this is also a belief and/or hope. May be ...

One thing that I know...

"Is there something that I learned from my life so far in the domain of spirituality?" - This is a question that has been popping up in my mind quite often these days. A few years ago, I thought that I knew quite a lot in this domain. I am not so sure any more. It is in my nature to 'doubt' and to 'question' - any sort of knowledge/conclusions. May be, the way towards faith for me is through 'doubting my doubts' (e.g. 'how do I know that I don't know?').

Let me come back to the original question that I started this post with. There is nothing that I am absolutely sure of - in the sense of having arrived at my final unchangeable conclusion. I feel that one's answers to fundamental questions in life should (and do) evolve throughout one's life. This also means that one's knowledge/conclusions also evolve. Having said this, there is something (among the list of inferences that I have drawn from life so far) that is quite high in terms of degree of conviction - at least at this point.

The inference is something like this. I can't understand God in the scientific meaning of the term 'understand'. In science, when one tries to understand a 'phenomenon', it is usually with the objective to use the understanding to predict and possibly influence (or even control) the phenomenon. Now, any definition of God will limit God and hence can be problematic. Also, if one is able to predict what God will do or if one is able to influence God's actions, that can also limit God. While I do think that it is possible to get connected to God, to catch a glimpse of God's mind or even to feel one with God, I think that these are hugely dependent on the 'Grace of God'. While one's readiness/preparedness/actions can be a significant factor, it is definitely not a sufficient condition or even a necessary condition!