Tuesday, September 4, 2007

My biggest gift and my biggest curse

Of late I am coming to the realization that my biggest gift is also my biggest curse.

My biggest gift is the ability to see three steps ahead. This enables me to visualize what could happen at a later stage if a particular action is taken now. So as soon as I hear something my mind races off to visualize multiple scenarios (and their probabilities and their implications) that could result as a result of the current situation and the inherent choices in the current situation. I call this a 'gift' because I was born with it, though I might have fine-tuned/polished it to some extent. This ability to do scenario planning/strategic thinking has helped me a lot in my career. So this has been a very valuable gift.

Now let me explain why this gift is also my biggest curse. This ability that enables me to 'see' possible opportunities in the future also enables (or forces) me to see possible problems. This becomes even more problematic when I am not in a great mood - I tend to visualize lot more problems than opportunities. This in turn worsens my mood further and brings in the possibility that a vicious cycle might develop. In addition to all this there is the risk that this scenario planning ability (especially when it runs wild) could lead to 'paralysis by analysis'. So some times it becomes very difficult for me to 'make a decision and move ahead' even when that is the 'wisest' thing to do. Thus I end up thinking (or even worrying) too much. This is the reason why I say that this ability is biggest curse in addition to being my biggest gift.

If we analyze the above descriptions carefully, it becomes apparent that the key intervening variable in this cause-effect chain is my mood/frame of mind. So logically speaking, the solution lies in maintaining a positive frame of mind. But it is easier said than done.

Any comments?

1 comment:

bjorn said...

i used to do that all the time and eventually it nearly destroyed me. i became so consumed with what might happen, i lost all peace and came very close to loseing the battle with satan. i very slowly am becomeing stronger. the only way to peace is by letting all things go and trusting jesus(be still and know that i am god)(psalms). you are right to think good thoughts, don't be given to doubt. trust in Jesus, satan is trying to confuse you. just believe. make the LOrd the most important thing in your life humble yourself to him. first by trusting him and then, with that faith, work for him. not worrying about what others think of how righteos you are but by being righteous(faithfull). i can tell you that satan is trying to trick you into thinking you can see ahead. that is a lie. just trust in Christ, believe in the greatness of his power and hope with confidence in the awsome reward here on earth and more importantly in the life to come. may the lord bless you and may you see his love through faith in him. i should also ad that faith is biult by believing in the lord even when you don't feel close to him. satan tries to get us down by making us feel like we aren;t strong don't live on feelings just believe. when you believe even though you have been feeling doubtful you will overcome satan and have hope and peace. there are many battles to come but they are worth wile. they are not futile as saton would want you to think they are worthwile. you will be victorios.